Do you find that the more your child misbehaves the more you think about it and the more you think about it the worse it gets? Then it's time to take a step back and think about how you really want your child to behave.
By taking the time to regularly think about how you would like your child to behave you will find yourself focusing more on their good behaviour and encouraging more of that.
It is vital that you pay more attention to how you would like your children to behave because children will do more of what they get attention for and by thinking about how you would like your child to behave you will start to ask yourself the right questions about how you can get your child to behave in that way.
For example, if you feel that your child is unco-operative and never helps you out and you would like your child to be more co-operative and helpful, stop saying to yourself my child is unco-operative and never helps me out and start to ask yourself,
"How can I get my child to be more co-operative and helpful?"
This way you will start to come up with the answers you need.
You can start to think about how you want your child to behave by making a list of 5 behaviours you don't like and making them into a positive statement instead like the one above.
For example,
I hate my child moaning and crying to get what they want
Change it into a positive...
I want my child to ask nicely for what they want
Now think of ways that you can encourage this behaviour
- Only let them have what they want if they ask nicely
- Don't give into their crying and tantrums
- Praise them when they ask nicely
- ............add more ideas
If you like this idea and would like more, you can find a comprehensive guide to your child's behaviour in my book;
'A Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour', which you can download instantly at http://tinyurl.com/yds3gqq
Best wishes Ruth
Good post on an important issue!I wish people would see things in a positive way more often. Thinking negatively is like a self fulfulling prophecy. If you think your child is naughty, they will be!
ReplyDeleteGood communication goes along way to address most issues. Its no good saying 'Behave' you need to outline what's expected in a way the child will understand.
Great blog, we are focusing on positives with our 4 boys, the rewards chores chart worked a treat for us, we are still struggling with some issues but not giving up, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I am sharing it.
ReplyDelete