Teach your child social skills in four easy steps.

I am sure every parent wants their children to have good social skills, but what are social skills, how do we go about teaching them and why should you bother?

Social skills that children really need to learn in order to get along better with everyone include;

·         Turn taking

·         Praising

·         Asking for help

·         Using quiet voices where appropriate

·         Saying kind things

·         Waiting their turn

·         Listening

·         Resolving conflicts

·         Working as a team

·         Sharing

·         Getting along with friends

·         Patience

Sometimes a child will behave badly because they don’t have the skills to cope with everyday social interactions and if they can’t share their toys or wait their turn, tantrums and arguments can occur.  If you think your child could do with improving their social skills here are 4 steps.

1 Choose and discuss the skill you want to improve, “I would like you to share your toys because it is a friendly thing to do”.

2. Give instructions or guidance, If you see your child starting to get angry about not wanting to share, you can get involved in the game by saying something like, “Diane would like to have a go in the car, please let her have 2 goes round the track while you go on the scooter, then you can have it back for 2 goes round the track”.

3. Practice makes perfect, Keep practicing as often as you can to promote sharing and model it in your behaviour. For example asking someone else if they would like a turn on the swing/bike/ see-saw etc……

4. Praise or consequence, if you see them sharing remember to praise them, if they will not, they need some kind of consequence.

Children who have good social skills are able to get along with other children theywill feel happier and be confident which will have a positive effect on their behaviour.

Please check out my new Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behaviour course dates http://bit.ly/CDBCOURSE

Ruth :)

One great tip to easily improve children's behaviour

I was just talking to a parent who is taking my course about ignoring their child’s tantrums and it reminded me of a 4 year old girl that attended the nursery where I worked.  When she arrived at nursery she would throw herself on the floor and scream and cry in the clock room in a very dramatic fashion in probably the worst way I had seen before. But it wasn’t just when she arrived at nursery that was the problem, as she would also throw herself on the floor at times when she did not want to do something such as tidy up or do activities she didn’t like. This behaviour had to stop so I decided that as well as ignoring the tantrum I would start to teach her exactly what I wanted from her, after all I really think she didn’t know how else to behave. 

So at the end of the day at nursery I sat down with her and gave her direct instructions for coming to nursery the next morning. I explained that I wanted her to come into nursery smiling and happy to see her friends, I said that when she gets to nursery, that she was to come and sit by me in the book corner (where I took the register) and sit in the chair that I will have waiting for her next to me. I told her that she would feel happier if she came to nursery ready to play with her friends and she shyly looked at me with her fingers in her mouth, smiled and nodded in approval.

I then told then her mum of my plans and we arranged that she would bring her daughter to sit by me in the book corner in the morning, instead of leaving her in the cloak room.

When the next day arrived I was ready and waiting as arranged and I took her hand from her mummy and showed her where to sit. I asked the little girl if she remembered what I had said about coming to nursery with a smile and she nodded in agreement managed a little smile and remarkably there was barely a sniffle from her.

I gave her lots of praise and encouragement and stickers and it was truly amazing how fast she settled into her new routine and within a few days she was walking up to her friends and chatting when she arrived.   She also responded really well when I directly asked her to be in charge of a certain job when it was tidy up time, which meant she was better behaved throughout the whole day as well.

So remember if your child is misbehaving use direct instructions and tell them exactly what you would like them to do and see the positive changes happen quickly.

For more tips download my book here

I was just talking to a parent who is taking my course about ignoring their child’s tantrums and it reminded me of a 4 year old girl that attended the nursery where I worked.  When she arrived at nursery she would throw herself on the floor and scream and cry in the clock room in a very dramatic fashion in probably the worst way I had seen before. But it wasn’t just when she arrived at nursery that was the problem, as she would also throw herself on the floor at times when she did not want to do something such as tidy up or do activities she didn’t like. This behaviour had to stop so I decided that as well as ignoring the tantrum I would start to teach her exactly what I wanted from her, after all I really think she didn’t know how else to behave. 

So at the end of the day at nursery I sat down with her and gave her direct instructions for coming to nursery the next morning. I explained that I wanted her to come into nursery smiling and happy to see her friends, I said that when she gets to nursery, that she was to come and sit by me in the book corner (where I took the register) and sit in the chair that I will have waiting for her next to me. I told her that she would feel happier if she came to nursery ready to play with her friends and she shyly looked at me with her fingers in her mouth, smiled and nodded in approval.

I then told then her mum of my plans and we arranged that she would bring her daughter to sit by me in the book corner in the morning, instead of leaving her in the cloak room.

When the next day arrived I was ready and waiting as arranged and I took her hand from her mummy and showed her where to sit. I asked the little girl if she remembered what I had said about coming to nursery with a smile and she nodded in agreement managed a little smile and remarkably there was barely a sniffle from her.

I gave her lots of praise and encouragement and stickers and it was truly amazing how fast she settled into her new routine and within a few days she was walking up to her friends and chatting when she arrived.   She also responded really well when I directly asked her to be in charge of a certain job when it was tidy up time, which meant she was better behaved throughout the whole day as well.

So remember if your child is misbehaving use direct instructions and tell them exactly what you would like them to do and see the positive changes happen quickly.

For more tips download my book, A Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour here using paypal  http://bit.ly/hde2ig 

Best wishes

Ruth

If you use these ideas, please come back and let us know how you get on:)

Child Behaviour Course

This Saturday 22^nd January my Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behaviour 1 day course is on in Stafford 9.30-4.00. It’s an essential guide for today’s modern parent!!

For more details and to book your place please visit the website…. http://bit.ly/efMXqz  or email me at childbehaviour@aol.com

Please let everyone know, email friends and send round this poster or print it out for your work place or nursery.  CBD Poster PDF.pdf

I don’t like sales talk; I’m no good at it, so why not just read what one happy mum said;

The course really helped me to think about how I approach the situation with my children. I realise that I do not follow through with my boys like I thought I did. Now when I say things to the boys they know I mean it and follow through with it. I am much calmer with them and the positive feedback given to them has been so beneficial. The help and tips that Ruth has given me have been very beneficial. I know that I am a better mom because of her advice and helpfulness!!" H.

I really hope to see you there.

Ruth